Saturday, June 12, 2010

Thank you....

Dear you...
In my life, i have so many choices.. but few yrs back i've made choices that changed my entire life thereafter... i chose to care 4 u, i chose to hold u when u r down, i chose to look after ur well being, i chose to carry you when u r sick, i chose to be around u anytime anywhere, i chose to be ur shoulder to cry on, i chose to get u up when u fall, i chose to be next to u when u r alone and the entire world is rejecting u, and most importantly...i chose to syg u with all my heart and strength and next thing i know, i have been dedicating my life to u...

you,
Thank you for letting me messing ard ur life for several years... thank you for giving me the opportunity to love n be loved... thank you for the great memories.. ill treasure them... thank you for allowing me to be part of ur life over the years, in which i learned a lot abt life n myself...

you,
you know how i feel abt all these and it will never change although u ask me to do sumting that completely contrary to what and how i feel abt you... but i respect ur decision and its what u've been asking for quite a long time ago... the time has come tho.... i guess i just need to move on... and do what u ask me to do...

you,
from the bottom of my sincere and humble heart, i would like to ask for ur 4giveness for everything... i know i have sin against u and i can't do anything to change it.. i'm sorry... as i always said to u, u r owez right... u r nor to be blame for everything that had happened... it just me that should be blamed... i was completely an idiot and stubborn and being so selfish without thinking on wat u want in ur life... i was so ignorant of your feelings and emotions... all i ever thought is just ME n Myself... i should be awarded with 'the most selfish and stubborn people in planet' award... i am so guilty to u n your life.... i ask ur 4giveness once again....

You,
i promise from this moment on, i will never messing ard you n your life anymore... i will never allow myself to tell u to do this, do that n acting like i owned u... i owe u ur freedom... again, 4give me... T.T

You,
i will never regret the choices made by me... it was the right choices made by me bcuz it had gives way for 'the greatest thing ever-happened in my life" to happen... yes, the greatest thing ever happened to me is 'YOU"....

its ur time to do ur choices and i sincerely understand and accept your choices with an open heart...

You,
thank you so much....n take care now...

Sorry for everything.... my bad... T.T

Sunday, April 4, 2010

T.T

..i just hate it now... wait for my post... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thursday, April 1, 2010

5th......

T.T arrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

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T.T

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

This is not true...


I always thought that i am strong and enjoy solitary... After days of solitude, I now realize that it is the least state-of-life that i would choose... Now I realize that it is not easy to really turn your life from what you used to do or be.. But the turning itself is not what i have opt to go, it was and is by-force by what they called as 'undertaking move'... I hate that 'move' and i hate those who were responsible and initiate that move... I hate it.. It really make my life upside down.. I am very much aware that this is only temporary... few months, few days... It is Not forever.. hey, I still have to go thru every single second in agony... every single excruciating day... a lot of solitary moments.. It is me who feel all those feelings.. It is me who trying to go thru every single day with whatever boldness and guts that left inside me... T.T

To make things worse, I have to keep everything to myself.. without being able to share, to voice-out, to even show how i feel right now, at this very moment.. NO ONE will understand my situation.. NO ONE will understand why I have been behaving so strange this few days.. NO ONE will help me to go through the remaining days...

BUT I will never want the significance people around me to understand..

They may laugh, they may find it awkward, or they may look at it as absurd situation...be it.. i don't care.. BUT i still can't really tell what is happening to my life... I just want to be alone at the moment... I just hope I am still there when this is over.. Thank you for spending your time to read this albeit you may not understand what crap i was talking...

1,2,3...

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

my so-not-life

It's been so long since i post my last entry...

dear frens,
I am so dead now.. i have no REAL and meaningful live at the moment... need to change... ironically, i am very much aware wut i shud n must do to change... YET I DONT DARE TO... IT HURTS ME.... my life at the moment NEED 120% change, 360 degree turn....

There are lot of things that get affected once i decide to do the changes.... should i do it?????

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