Wednesday, July 23, 2008
English mistakes from around the world
Here are some lovely howlers from various countries.
Africa
In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
America
In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Notice outside an American factory: "CLOSING DOWN, THANKS TO ALL OUR CUSTOMERS."
Sign in an American hospital "GUARD DOGS OPERATING."
Sign in a bargain basement store "DON'T GO INTO ANOTHER SHOP TO BE CHEATED - COME IN HERE."
Sign outside a Mexican disco "MEMBERS AND NON-MEMBERS ONLY."
Sign in a Mexican city hotel "BROKEN ENGLISH SPOKEN PERFECTLY."
Law in Kansas: When two trains approach each other at a crossing, they shall both stop and neither shall start up until the other has gone.
Sign in an American drapery shop "GENTS' TROUSERS SLASHED"
Sign in an American chemists "WE DISPENSE WITH ACCURACY"
Asia
In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - For indoor or outdoor use only.
Sign in an Indian restaurant "AFTER ONE VISIT WE GUARANTEE YOU WILL BE REGULAR"
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
On the label of a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop - Drive Sideways
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
This is a blurb from a chocolate bar wrapper in Japan: Soft and mild, like a Japanese woman. Good flavor and full of juice.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
On a Korean kitchen knife - "WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN."
In a Bangkok bar: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
Sign outside a Bangkok bar "THE SHADIEST COCKTAIL BAR IN TOWN."
In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
From Singapore: Sir Loin steak with potato cheeps.
Sign in a Sri Lankan swimming pool "DO NOT USE THE DIVING BOARD WHEN THE SWIMMING POOL IS EMPTY."
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
From Macao: Utmost of chicken fried in bother.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Australasia
Label on a New Zealand insect spray - "THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS."
Canada
This is a story about a mistake a politician made in French.
Canada's Prime Minister in the late 50's and early 60's was John Diefenbaker, notorious in the French-speaking province of Quebec for his horrible French pronunciation, (he couldn't speak French, he just read it out loud.) One day, he was expressing his appreciation for having been invited to attend a ceremony in Quebec. He mispronounced the word "appreciate" in French. In English, it's pronounced "appree-shee-ate" but in French they say "appréciez" pronounced "appray-see-aye". He actually pronounced it, "appray-shee-aye", which means "after having shit". So, what his French audience heard was, "After having shit, I am pleased to be here." Thanks to Tim Penner.
Europe
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
German-English text book - After a certain time cheques are stale and cannot be cashed. (Business English from A-Z Page 53)
Notice on a soup terrine in a German cash and carry store (called Metro) - Erbsensuppe Pie Soup - I think it should have been pea soup.
Sign in a travel agents in Barcelona "GO AWAY!"
Sign in a Paris restaurant "WE SERVE FIVE O'CLOCK TEA AT ALL HOURS."
Sign in a French swimming pool "SWIMMING FORBIDDEN IN THE ABSENCE OF A SAVIOUR."
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
From a restaurant in France: A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but no trousers.
On the menu of a French restaurant - egg - "an extract of fowl, peached or sunside up."
Sign in a hotel in Ankara "PLEASE HANG YOUR ORDER BEFORE RETIRING ON YOUR DOORKNOB."
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: - English well talking. - Here speeching American.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
Sign in a British school "IF YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM, YOU SHOULD SEE THE HEAD."
Sign in a British hospital "DANGEROUS DRUGS MUST BE LOCKED UP WITH THE MATRON."
Sign outside a British night club "CLOSED TONIGHT FOR SPECIAL OPENING."
In a British community centre "VISITORS WITH READING DIFFICULTIES SHOULD PROCEED TO FRONT DESK FOR INFORMATION."
Advert in a British shop window "HOME WANTED FOR FRIENDLY LABRADOR. WILL EAT ANYTHING - LOVES CHILDREN."
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
Sign in a hotel in Madrid "IF YOU WISH DISINFECTION ENACTED IN YOUR PRESENCE, CRY OUT FOR THE CHAMBERMAID"
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
From Budapest: All rooms not denounced by twelve o'clock will be paid for twicely.
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.
In a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
Sign on lion cage at a Czech zoo "NO SMOOTHEN THE LION."
On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig lift: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel lift: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
In a Balkan hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
From a restaurant in Vienna: Fried milk, children sandwiches, roast cattle and boiled sheep.
From the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
Sign in an Istanbul hotel "TO CALL ROOM SERVICE, PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR AND CALL ROOM SERVICE."
From a Yugoslavian elevator: Let us know about an unficiency as well as leaking on the service. Our utmost will improve it.
Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
A sign posted in Germany's Black forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other or that purpose.
In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summer suit. Because is big rush, we will execute customers in strict rotation.
Portuguese patent agent: 'It will not be necessary to state the name and address of the inventor if the applicant is not himself.'
On the faucet in a Finnish toilet: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
On a Soviet ship in the Black Sea: Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles!
Associate the stringing apparata about the bosoms and meet behind. Flee then to the indifferent lifesavering shippen obediencing the instructs of the vessel chef."
Middle East
Sign in a Tel Aviv Hotel "IF YOU WISH BREAKFAST, LIFT THE TELEPHONE AND OUR WAITRESS WILL ARRIVE. THIS WILL BE ENOUGH TO BRING UP YOUR FOOD."
Unknown origin
On a medicine bottle: Adults: 1 tablet 3 times a day until passing away"
Sign in a greengrocers "PLEASE DON'T HANDLE THE FRUIT. ASK FOR DEBBIE."
Sign in a furniture shop "WE STAND BEHIND EVERY BED WE SELL."
Instructions with a hair dryer "WARNING: NEVER USE WHILE SLEEPING."
Sign in a hotel lift "PLEASE DO NOT USE THIS LIFT WHEN IT IS NOT WORKING."
Sign on a building site "NIGHT WATCHMAN PATROLS THIS AREA 24 HOURS A DAY."
Sign in a dry-cleaners "IF YOU FEEL WE HAVE FAILED YOU IN ANY WAY WE SHALL BE ONLY TOO PLEASED TO DO IT AGAIN AT NO EXTRA CHARGE."
Directions for mosquito repellent: Replacing battery - Replace the old battery with a new one.
Sign in a jewellery shop "OUR GIFTS WILL NOT LAST LONG AT THESE PRICES."
Sign in a hotel "ALL FIRE EXTINGUISHERS MUST BE EXAMINED AT LEAST TEN DAYS BEFORE ANY FIRE."
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box - "FITS ON HEAD."
Sign in a beauty parlour "EARS PIERCED WHILE YOU WAIT. PAY FOR TWO AND GET ANOTHER ONE PIERCED FREE."
Book title - CORRECTLY ENGLISH IN 100 DAYS (allegedly this textbook is cited in Mario Pei's (1952) The Story of English, page 174. Thanks to Chris.)
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Test Your Mind - Optical Illusion
Hidden Face in Coffee Beans and other illusions...
I actually got it from a website. See more of this illusion from here....
In the meantime.... more from that site..
The Hidden Tiger Illusion
See if you can find the hidden tiger? Think outside the box on this one...
I've tried and i am tired trying... i couldn't find the hidden tiger??? Anyone please help me..
The picture below is something that i can't explain either..lol
The Mystery of Brain
Recently i received an email forwarded to me from a friend of mine, which the contents really amazed me. It really strengthen my faith and made me ponder the mystery of creation... I would like to share it with all of you.. lets just reflect how amazing our Creator is...
Read out loud the text inside the triangle below.
More than likely you said, 'A bird in the bush,'! and. .. if this IS what YOU said, then you failed to see that the word THE is repeated twice! Sorry, look again.
Next, let's play with some words.
What do you see?
In black you can read the word GOOD, in white the word EVIL (inside each black letter is a white letter). It's all very physiological too, because it visualizes the concept that good can't exist without evil (or the absence of good is evil).
Now, what do you see?
You may not see it at first, but the white spaces read the word optical, the blue landscape reads the word illusion. Look again! Can you see why this painting is called an optical illusion?
What do you see here?
This one is quite tricky! The word TEACH reflects as LEARN.
Last one. What do you see?
You probably read the word ME in brown, but.......when you look through ME you will see YOU! Do you need to look again? Test Your Brain..
This is really cool. The second one is amazing so please read all the way though.
ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST
Count every ' F' in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...
(SEE BELOW)
HOW MANY ?
WRONG, THERE ARE 6-- no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.
The reasoning behind is further down. The brain cannot process 'OF'.
Incredible or what? Go back and look again!! Anyone who counts all 6 'F's' on the first go is a genius.
Three is normal, four is quite rare.
More Brain Stuff . . From Cambridge University ....
O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on !!
hahahah guyz..... so how is it... amazing huh???
Monday, July 7, 2008
Wimbledon - Nadal claims first Wimbledon title
Eurosport - Mon, 07 Jul 09:13:00 2008
Rafael Nadal ended Roger Federer's five-year reign as king of Wimbledon with a 6-4 6-4 6-7 6-7 9-7 victory in one of the most dramatic finals seen at the All England Club.
The 22-year-old Nadal survived an incredible Federer fightback to become the first Spaniard to win the grasscourt grand slam since Manuel Santana in 1966. He is also the first man since Bjorn Borg in 1980 to win the French Open and Wimbledon in the same year.
After two rain interruptions the players returned to court for a third time with light fading fast and in a nerve-shredding finale the contest ended with Nadal collapsing to the dusty baseline after a Federer forehand struck the net.
"It's impossible to explain what I felt in that moment...winning my favourite tournament, it's a dream," Nadal said after climbing through the crowd to hug his family and shake hands with Prince Felipe and Princess Letizia of Spain in the Royal Box.
"He's (Federer) still the number one, he's still the best, he's five times champion, now I have one."
Defeat ended Federer's six-year unbeaten run on grass, spanning 65 matches and ended his hopes of surpassing Borg's five consecutive Wimbledon titles.
The Swiss, who is still two grand slam titles shy of Pete Sampras's record 14, took defeat like a true champion, although he later said it was too dark to play at the end.
"I tried everything," the 26-year-old said on court. "Rafa is a deserving champion, he just played fantastic.
"It didn't make it easier but I expected the worst. It's the worst opponent on the best court. It's been a joy to play here again. It's a pity I couldn't win it but I'll be back next year."
A shattered-looking Federer later told reporters it was the "hardest" loss of his career.
The final was delayed by half an hour because of rain and when battle did commence it was world number two Nadal who came out firing on all cylinders.
He broke Federer's second service game when the Swiss completely missed a backhand in the gusty conditions.
Nadal targeted Federer's off-key backhand relentlessly and it paid handsome dividends as the Swiss failed to capitalise on several chances to get back into the set.
Federer had two break points when Nadal served for the set at 5-4 but failed to convert and then netted another backhand to hand the marauding Majorcan the opener.
Nadal soon found himself 4-1 down in the second set as Federer's game clicked but he broke back in the seventh game with a pummelled pass that flew off Federer's racket.
With the momentum back Nadal applied the thumbscrews on Federer to break again, forging a two-set lead and sending the Swiss slouching despondently back to his chair.
Nadal seemed closed to victory at 3-3 in the third set when Federer fell 0-40 down on serve but the Swiss served his way out trouble and suddenly the spark returned.
After the first lengthy rain delay he pounced in the tiebreak, taking control with two sweetly struck forehands before clinching the third set with an ace.
Twice Federer showed tremendous resolve when he served to stay alive at 4-5 and 5-6 in the fourth set before a tiebreak that had the crowd gripping their seats.
Nadal held a 5-2 lead but served a nervy double fault. Still the Spaniard carved out a championship point at 7-6 but Federer saved it with a service winner.
Nadal carved out a second match point, this time on his serve, at 8-7 with a running forehand pass. Pinned in the corner, Federer then conjured a magical backhand up the line.
When he secured the tiebreak 10-8 football-style chants echoed around court for both players.
Rain stopped play again at 2-2 in the decider and when the players returned the atmosphere crackled. Both players refused to blink as games went with serve but it was a weary Federer who wavered at 7-7.
Federer saved one match point with a fizzing backhand but Nadal would not be denied his first grand slam title away from Roland Garros, bagging victory after four hours 48 minutes of supreme sporting theatre.
Reuters EmPETRONAS DAN HARGA MINYAK by Dr. Mahathir Mohamad
Saya berasa amat sedih kerana ada orang menyalahkan Petronas kerana kenaikan harga minyak sehingga sanggup mengkasari beberapa pekerja Petronas yang memakai baju Petronas dan menolak-nolak mereka dalam keretapi komuter.
Kenaikan harga minyak disebabkan oleh peniaga minyak antarabangsa yang menjual beli minyak sesama mereka seperti dahulu mereka menjual beli matawang negara tertentu termasuk negara kita. Terdapat maklumat yang mengatakan mereka menyewa tanker besar untuk simpan minyak menunggu kenaikan harga.
Kenaikan harga yang amat tinggi mempunyai kesan negatif kepada negara seperti China dan Jepun yang bersaing dengan Amerika Syarikat dan Eropah.
Kebanyakan daripada syarikat pengeluar minyak dimiliki oleh rakyat Amerika dan mereka mendapat keuntungan yang amat besar daripada penjualan peratusan minyak yang dikeluarkan oleh mereka bagi negara-negara pengeluar yang tidak mampu mengeluar sendiri. Di Malaysia juga terdapat syarikat-syarikat asing yang untung besar daripada bahagian mereka dalam perjanjian "production sharing".
Hanya di Malaysia Petronas memiliki bahagian yang lebih besar kerana kita tidak serah semua kegiatan pengeluaran kepada syarikat asing semata-mata. Industri petro-kimia juga adalah milik Petronas.
Kerana Petronas terlibat secara menyeluruh dalam industri minyak ia diundang untuk mengambil bahagian dalam pengeluaran, penapisan dan lain-lain kegiatan industri minyak di 34 buah Negara.
Keuntungan daripada operasi luar Negara kian meningkat dan pendapatan dibawa balik dan di miliki sepenuhnya oleh Kerajaan Malaysia.
Pendapatan Petronas lebih tinggi daripada jumlah cukai korporat dan cukai pendapatan Kerajaan. Tanpa sumbangan besar daripada Petronas Kerajaan tidak akan dapat memberi subsidi minyak sama sekali.
Keputusan untuk menggunakan sumbangan wang daripada Petronas untuk subsidi adalah hak Kerajaan dan bukan hak Petronas. Bagaimana dan banyak mana subsidi yang hendak diberi adalah tanggungjawab dan hak Kerajaan. Mengurang atau tidak jumlah subsidi juga ditentukan oleh Kerajaan.
Walaupun Kerajaan mengganti rugi semua syarikat minyak di Malaysia kerana menetap harga minyak yang rendah daripada kos minyak, ini tidak dilakukan berkenaan harga gas.
Harga gas sekarang jauh lebih rendah daripada harga sebenar. Kerajaan memaksa syarikat penjual gas menanggung kos ini. Oleh itu hanya Petronas sahaja yang sanggup mengadakan stesen gas untuk kereta dan juga membekal gas kepada stesen jana elektrik. Tiap satu meter padu gas yang dibekal oleh Petronas untuk kereta atau stesen janakuasa, Petronas menanggung kerugian.
Oleh kerana permintaan untuk gas melebihi daripada pengeluaran di Semenanjung, Petronas terpaksa beli gas dengan harga pasaran dunia. Dengan ini kerugian menjadi lebih besar.
Jika lebih banyak gas digunakan, walaupun Petronas dibenar menaikkan harga gas, tetapi Petronas tetap akan rugi. Sudah tentu syarikat minyak yang lain tidak akan import dan jual gas di Malaysia. Sebagai syarikat negara Petronas sanggup tanggung kerugian. Syarikat dagang tidak akan berasa bertanggung jawab terhadap negara ini.
Penggunaan minyak dalam negara meningkat sepanjang masa. Tiap tahun hampir setengah juta kenderaan bermotor didaftar. Bangunan-bangunan pencakar langit dan bangunan rumah bertambah dengan pesat. Demikian juga industri yang mewujudkan peluang kerja kepada rakyat. Semuanya mengguna kuasa elektrik yang dijana dengan gas sebagai bahan api.
Hari ini kita keluarkan lebih kurang 650,000 tong sehari, dan kita guna 400,000 tong dalam negara. Baki 250,000 tong kita jual di luar negara dengan harga pasaran iaitu 140 Dolar Amerika se-tong bersamaan dengan RM420 se-tong.
Dengan kenaikan harga minyak, subsidi untuk minyak tentu naik. Tetapi kerana kita dapat tambahan pendapatan daripada kenaikan harga jualan minyak yang kita eksport maka subsidi boleh ditambah.
Tetapi jika kegunaan dalam negeri meningkat, dan ia tetap meningkat, maka eksport tentulah merosot sepanjang masa. Bertambahnya penggunaan dalam negeri bermakna lebih banyak jumlah subsidi yang diperlukan. Lebih banyak yang digunakan dalam negeri, maka jumlah eksport tentulah merosot dan pendapatan daripada eksport juga akan merosot.
Jika sampainya satu masa jumlah kegunaan dalam negeri menjadi sama dengan jumlah pengeluaran dalam negeri, maka tidak akan ada lagi pendapatan daripada eksport. Di waktu itu tidak ada wang untuk memberi subsidi lagi.
Petronas saya percaya jika tidak diganggu oleh pihak tertentu untuk menguasai industri yang begitu untung ini, akan cuba mengeluarkan minyak di luar negara. Minyak ini tidak akan beri pulangan yang sebesar minyak dalam negeri. Bayaran hasil oleh Petronas kepada Kerajaan akan merosot. Jika tidak ada sesuatu usaha dibuat sekarang, jika hanya politik yang diberi perhatian oleh Kerajaan Dato Seri Abdullah Badawi, ekonomi negara ini boleh hancur dan rakyat akan kembali jadi rakyat negara ketiga.
Sementara itu kita harus fikir apakah akan jadi kepada kita jika tidak ada Petronas dengan kecekapan anggotanya dalam industri yang strategik ini.
Walaupun saya dinamakan penasihat kepada Petronas, setelah saya tidak jadi Perdana Menteri saya tidak lagi memberi apa-apa nasihat.
Apa yang saya tulis ini ialah berkenaan dengan strategi Petronas yang dibentuk dahulu, yang mengambilkira masa depan industri minyak negara dan kesan terhadap ekonomi negara. Memang kenaikan harga minyak tidak diduga, tetapi ramalan kita tidak akan sebegini teruk. Strategi ini perlu dikaji semula memandangkan kenaikan harga yang luar biasa.
Strategi ini perlu mengambilkira bukan sahaja keadaan dalam negara dan keperluan mencari populariti tetapi juga keadaan di luar Negara di mana sekali lagi konsep pasaran bebas (free market) memberi peluang kepada penyangak gergasi untuk memperkayakan diri mereka di atas penderitaan yang miskin di dunia.