I always thought that i am strong and enjoy solitary... After days of solitude, I now realize that it is the least state-of-life that i would choose... Now I realize that it is not easy to really turn your life from what you used to do or be.. But the turning itself is not what i have opt to go, it was and is by-force by what they called as 'undertaking move'... I hate that 'move' and i hate those who were responsible and initiate that move... I hate it.. It really make my life upside down.. I am very much aware that this is only temporary... few months, few days... It is Not forever.. hey, I still have to go thru every single second in agony... every single excruciating day... a lot of solitary moments.. It is me who feel all those feelings.. It is me who trying to go thru every single day with whatever boldness and guts that left inside me... T.T
To make things worse, I have to keep everything to myself.. without being able to share, to voice-out, to even show how i feel right now, at this very moment.. NO ONE will understand my situation.. NO ONE will understand why I have been behaving so strange this few days.. NO ONE will help me to go through the remaining days...
BUT I will never want the significance people around me to understand..
They may laugh, they may find it awkward, or they may look at it as absurd situation...be it.. i don't care.. BUT i still can't really tell what is happening to my life... I just want to be alone at the moment... I just hope I am still there when this is over.. Thank you for spending your time to read this albeit you may not understand what crap i was talking...
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